Comments on Life and Dandelions: Belonging ... a basic need?

Through Concrete Resurfacing an old and worn out c...

2014-09-01T22:55:25.759+10:00

Through Concrete Resurfacing an old and worn out concrete surfaces can be restored without the use of a new one.
concrete resurfacing melbourne

What a beautiful, honest piece of writing. Being a...

2012-04-04T13:31:40.130+10:00

What a beautiful, honest piece of writing. Being an Asian-Australian, I know exactly where you are coming from, and yes- a sense of belonging, is essential, just as food, shelter and water. We need to all feel that we belong so we can feel part of society...so we have "purpose." Discussions and honest blog writing like this closes the gap...making our world a better place to live in.

i'm guessing the non-invitation might had some...

2012-04-04T13:16:54.957+10:00

i'm guessing the non-invitation might had something to do with you not working anymore? you might say the source is not the point, but i do think it might have something to do with it … you've taken a massive leap on your own. being confronted with the fact that a safety net doesn't exist anymore can hit us unexpectedly.

and heh: "I spread myself over many different groups so I always had somewhere to belong if anything happened in another group … I was very easily hurt and spent so much time crying in my room over things that possibly didn't happen or weren't meant to be anything against me", me in a nutshell!

xt

What everyone else has said. :-) Love to you. You...

2012-04-04T09:52:37.418+10:00

What everyone else has said. :-)

Love to you. You're sharing thoughts that we all feel, for various reasons. xxx

I wrote a similar post to this a few years back af...

2012-04-04T09:14:32.935+10:00

I wrote a similar post to this a few years back after a painful situation involving my being excluded by a group of people I had come to consider my tribe. It left me feeling like I was back in school, being kicked out of my group for no known reason. Those feelings have never really left me, and they often resurface. I will tell you about that situation because it sounds so similar to what you describe here Annie. I will tell you in person - because you are in my tribe and we are long overdue for a proper natter!

I totally agree with Diminishing Lucy's comment above (and all the others really!) - so much so, I'm going to re-quote her here!..."Everyone feels like this, most of the time. And if they say they don't - fibbing. And if they look like they feel like they belong and never have an insecure moment - good actress." BOOM! Right on sisters!

Big Al xx

Much sage advice above Annie but I wanted to say I...

2012-04-04T06:19:29.826+10:00

Much sage advice above Annie but I wanted to say I feel this way too and think everyone does, just in varying degrees. That sense of belonging gives us strength in my opinion. I didn't get to the conference this year and was teary on Friday night as I missed the connection with a bunch of women I admire. I really agree that belonging is a basic human need. Big hugs x

A long time ago there was a person who felt adrift...

2012-04-04T01:11:59.101+10:00

A long time ago there was a person who felt adrift. Her world had shut her out. She no longer had a place of belonging.she had always had the place and that role in her life. In fact that WAS her. Then it stopped. The place was not hers to be in any more, nor the job. How did she cope? Not well. Until she found that there were people inside the computer.....and they spoke in words & characters of 140 or less. They sounded friendly, lively and intelligent and she joined in. One person returned tweets. Then another. Then it seemed that a friendly place of belonging existed again. You, Annie, we're one of the first people ever in 2010 to make ME feel like I belonged again. Now, almost 2 years on, my on-line world is filled with tweets, and blogging and more. This belonging is different to any other, as it can change and turn I know. I realize that I need to help others feel that they too have a place of belonging, just as you did with me, and so we keep our connections going. We do belong. Dr William Glasser has a theory called Choice Theory & I trained with him years ago. Humans have BASIC needs: survival, love & belonging, power, and more. You've nailed it Annie. humans have to belong. We ARE social & we are fed by BELONGING. denyse xx

Me too, Annie. People often ask me how I always ...

2012-04-03T22:25:51.728+10:00

Me too, Annie.

People often ask me how I always sound so cheerful when I'm on air.

It's because I've had 20+ years practise.

But I frequently feel excluded.

x

What a wonderful heartfelt post.You want to write ...

2012-04-03T21:52:54.440+10:00

What a wonderful heartfelt post.You want to write to help others.I have no doubt you have and will continue to do just that.Your raw emotion is what people can relate to and in doing so that alone helps them in a big way.May you feel uplifted by the beautiful comments your loving followers have left here.Warm hugs x

I really believe we all feel like this sometimes. ...

2012-04-03T21:25:25.830+10:00

I really believe we all feel like this sometimes. Perhaps the secret is that some hide it better than others.

For me, I needed to be honest enough to admit I felt this way before I could move forward. Wasn't all that easy to do, yet here you are saying it so eloquently.

I don't want to gush and soothe, but I missed you at the conference.

xxx

Annie, Thank you for sharing that beautiful and de...

2012-04-03T20:58:06.402+10:00

Annie,
Thank you for sharing that beautiful and delicately vulnerable piece of your heart.
xxx

As one of my favorites says "we're hard wired for connection. It's why we're here". Brene Brown.

I very often feel excluded. Too much mummy to fit into work, and too much work to fit in with mummy's ... And so it goes.

Feel the connections. Let the disconnections slide on by.
K xxx

You know how much I love you Annie. We all feel li...

2012-04-03T20:27:57.223+10:00

You know how much I love you Annie. We all feel like that at different times. Problem with creative people is that we are desperately insecure. We need that reassurance that we 'do good'. And even though we know deep down people like us, we need it reinforced.

Without being all weird, I feel like we've know each other, somehow before.

x Bern

Babe. I am going to email you later. But I do want...

2012-04-03T18:40:40.244+10:00

Babe. I am going to email you later. But I do want to say that what you write - I truly believe that it is totally normal. Everyone feels like this, most of the time. And if they say they don't - fibbing. And if they look like they feel like they belong and never have an insecure moment - good actress.

xx

Annie...you're probably right in saying recent...

2012-04-03T18:38:59.956+10:00

Annie...you're probably right in saying recently being laid off has been the "regression trigger" for what you've recently been feeling. It's touched your "inner child" who Still feels rejected and longs for a sense of belonging!
The other key aspect is, that you've been looking Externally, for a solution that can only be Tfuly Found, Internally! Some therapy would be very beneficial, because it would appear you've been suppressing these deep and long-held negative experiences

I hope you feel better for putting these words out...

2012-04-03T13:06:18.104+10:00

I hope you feel better for putting these words out there Annie. I felt the same about the conference, but it was my choice to put work ahead of the event and the social aspect of it, so I had to accept that 'left out' feeling. I decided to turn it into a positive instead of negative, and have drawn as much information as I can from all the post-conference chat to help me with my own blogging.
I've found myself saying no to a lot of social things lately with friends, and I know it's to my own detriment as I end up losing more confidence in myself every time I do.
Sometimes we just have to put ourselves out there, and have faith that the rest will follow. I'm sure that's how you've found yourself in such a good place these past few years, and will continue to do so. I am still so grateful that I met you last year. xx
xx

Annie a great post!! Loved this blog post. You are...

2012-04-03T12:36:11.581+10:00

Annie a great post!! Loved this blog post. You are part of my tribe and one of my people. Since returning to Australia, a lot of what you wrote really resonates with me as I find myself looking for my tribe/ my people. I crave connection. I think sometimes the social media field can increase the anxiety around lack of connection - seeing photo's of an event or party I wasn't invited to. Great food for thought Annie.

Julia @yogajg

Great post, Annie x

2012-04-03T10:47:03.352+10:00

Great post, Annie x

I suspect everyone feels excluded at times and if ...

2012-04-03T10:44:27.310+10:00

I suspect everyone feels excluded at times and if they deny this, well, they're fibbing.
Great writing Annie, I'm very much enjoying your blog.
xx

The need to belong is a real and primal one. It i...

2012-04-03T10:12:05.041+10:00

The need to belong is a real and primal one. It is not something to be ashamed of. We all need to belong to a tribe that will shelter and protect us in times of danger. These days that danger is not as physical as it used to be, but the need to belong stays.

I often struggle with this too. Even having attended the Conference, I still felt excluded at times and not part of the crowd.

I even wrote, but not published, about it while I was there. Funny, huh?

You belong to a very special group of people Annie...

2012-04-03T09:48:49.694+10:00

You belong to a very special group of people Annie. You are a wonderful human being. Absolutely and unequivocally