Sunday, August 28, 2011
There's a new normal a coming my way ...
It is funny how life seems to meander along the same path for a long time where not much changes and, then all of a sudden, the path ends and we must go off in another direction. I am there right now. Life as we know it is ending, in all possible ways, and a new path is awaiting all of us.
My Mr 19 moved out of home 3 weeks ago. We are all getting used to him not being here now. My initial sadness has now been replaced with acceptance. He is happy and loving his freedom and independence. I am certainly enjoying the decrease in washing and price of my grocery bill. I do miss kissing his soft cheek each night and hearing him say "I love you mum" every day. Mr 17 is loving the fact that his towel is always hanging where he left it and he can sleep without hearing the snoring from the next room.
M and I are leaving for Italy in eight days to get married and have a wonderful holiday. I am beyond excited about this and can't wait to be on the plane and on our way. When we get back I will be a wife. I will have a husband. I will also have a new last name. This is a huge thing for me. For the first time I will have a different surname to my children - this makes me feel a little bit funny. I will also have the surname of the man I have loved for a very long time and I know this makes me feel very happy.
While we are away, Mr 17 is going to the USA to work. He will be staying there until mid November. When he comes back he won't be the Mr 17 I said goodbye to. He will be different. He will have spent almost 3 months in another country without his mum. For the first time I won't be an integral part of his life. He will grow up and this will be a good thing for him. I am going to miss him while I'm away and I'm going to miss the boy I said goodbye to, but I do look forward to seeing the young man who comes back to me.
The next eight days are definitely going to be busy with working and getting organised for our big trip. They are also going to be filled with so much excitement (I am literally trembling with it). Despite the excitement, the days will also be filled with a sense of nostalgia and wistfulness. I will be holding on tightly to everything from the now so I don't forget it, because when we come back a new normal awaits us. Usually a new normal creeps up slowly until one day we just realise things have changed. This time I get to cherish the last few days of our now while I also get excited about the new now that lies ahead.